Well, here we are! The first year flew by. I know, I know everybody says that but it’s true. It felt like yesterday we were running out of our reception together hand in hand surrounded by our family and friends holding sparklers and cheering. We jumped in the car full of love and excitement and headed to our honeymoon in San Diego, California. This past weekend we booked a hotel, left our laptops at home, turned off our phones and got to have a special stay away here in the valley. Time off to just be together.
Through this past year we have learned so much.. about each other, about marriage, and about love. I decided I could share the top ten things I have learned.
If you aren’t reading scriptures and saying prayer together regularly then life is going to be about 12x tougher. After you center your lives around Christ then it is easier to be kind, patient, and loving towards each other.
You’re going to burn dinner, he’s going to forget to unload the dishwasher, you’re going to accidentally ruin his favorite t-shirt in the washer, and he might even leave three pairs of shoes out on the living room floor. Those are all little things, it’s okay.
I can be having the worst day ever, at home working by myself on too many things, and when Colbe walks in the door from school and gives me a gynormus hug everything fades. I can spend time with him and find myself smiling again. It’s all about perspective.
Cell phone usage, junk food, work, shopping, tv, time spent with both sides of in-laws, time spent with friends, and even chores. If you work more than necessary, play too many games on your cell phone, or spend too much time at your mom’s house.. it’s going to cause a few arguments. This seems obvious but sometimes you catch yourself doing it after you’ve already hurt your spouses feelings from doing it. Be aware of each other and use gentle reminders.
Just remember that the little things that happen aren’t the end of the world. Gently remind each other what they have done wrong rather than yelling or throwing your cell phone across the room. Throwing your cell phone across the room will probably just make him laugh, take my word.
You only regret the photos you didn’t take. Take videos of your adventures. You went camping in the mountains? Take some pictures. Your wife wants to schedule an anniversary photoshoot? Let her. (Within reason and budget obviously) You’re only young once, these special moments are disappearing and the only thing you have left are memories.. and photos/home videos. Your kids will thank you. They want to know what you were like before they were around. Take enough photos (AND HAVE THEM PRINTED) so you can show them what life was like.
Life is a choice. You can choose to get mad or you an choose to calm down. Sometimes are harder than others, and sometimes you bend until you break. Try your hardest to choose to always be happy. I know Colbe married me because of the carefree, fun, and happy girl I was when we were dating. With all of the “adult-ing” going on I find myself stressed, tense, and unhappy. Sometimes you just have to stop and remember to be happy. Nobody’s life is perfect.
Insert names here: “_____ and _____ just bought a new house, a new truck, are having a baby, traveling Europe and adopted the cutest golden doodle.. and THEY have only been married for 2 months!” Social media can be a wonderful tool but it can also be horrible to our self-esteem. Why do we feel like we have to compare ourselves? No two stories are the same. Remember, they are sharing their highlight reel, as are you. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Miscommunication is the number one cause of arguments. Let each other know how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Also take time to visit with each other about their day. Get to know each other. Like, really know each other. Every night right before we fall asleep I ask Colbe “What was your favorite part of your day?” This gives us an opportunity to talk about something positive and happy and usually starts a conversation. Instead of playing on our phones until we drift off to sleep, we visit.
Make time to have fun. Go on a date at least once a week, and call it a date. Lay on the living room floor and play board games and give back rubs. Always kiss goodbye and hello. Never leave or hang up without saying “I love you”. Give complements. Call him handsome, call her beautiful. Be there for each other and never stop trying.
Our beautiful one year anniversary photos were taken by one of my good friends Sarah M. Burton Photography. She is wonderful. We took these photos at Lost Dutchman State Park in the Superstition Mountains. Thanks for the fun Sarah!